Looking for love on the ski slopes

There are many things you should avoid saying on a singles holiday. 'I was so tired this morning I looked about 40 years old,' is one of them.

'So you don't have anyone else to go on holiday with?' is another. I have managed both. Luckily the divorcees I have insulted are a forgiving bunch and conversation moves on to skiing.

We're in the tiny village of Kaprun, Austria, which offers lower runs for beginners and superb high-altitude skiing for competent skiers and boarders.

Unfortunately we haven't explored much of its 130km of runs or its sprawling snow park because a vicious storm has closed the resort.

So what do you do in a ski resort when you can't ski? You drink, of course, and a day in the pub gives me ample opportunity to learn more about the group.

Speedbreaks is one of the market leaders in solo travellers and people looking for love. The typical crowd is aged 25 to 45, although most here are in their thirties and forties.

I sit next to an IT worker who crowbars talk of his willy into nearly every conversation. 'On last year's trip, 24 out of the 36 people snogged someone,' he says proudly. Crikey, that's impressive, I enthuse.

'Oh, there's more,' he continues. 'One girl slept with one guy one night, another the next evening and at breakfast the morning after took a third guy up to her room. She was a schoolteacher.'

I can't imagine anyone on this trip doing such a thing, particularly if the standard of flirting is anything to go by.

Take one conversation, which involved Mr Know-It-All guessing a girl's birthplace. After a boring exchange, he said: 'It's quite difficult – your facial features are very generic.'

The next day I bounce out of bed early, keen to get up the mountain. The wind stings my cheeks, the snow is dumping down and it's a biting -10°C (14°F) at the peak.

The only boarder, I am told I will struggle more than those with poles. I can't see more than a foot in front of me so I point the board down, put my weight on my back foot and go for it.

All around is carnage; one skier hits the mountain so hard his goggles and hat fly off on impact. To avoid taking his head off, I dig my heels in and screech to a stop.

We make it to one of the five drag lifts in the resort and I clamber on next to one of the more charming regulars.

'I brought half a suitcase of condoms with me on my first trip but didn't use one of them,' he tells me, 'although I did make lots of mates.' How dull.

I was after something juicy. 'Don't get me wrong,' he adds. 'There are lots of horny buggers on this trip.'

Later, I knock back Glühwein with a pretty thirtysomething who describes the three types of Speedbreakers: 'There are obnoxious guys who think they can get a shag, girls who think they will find the love of their lives and normal folk who want a holiday but all their friends are coupled up.'

I am sorely disappointed. There are no leches or hussies and, aside from the neverending stream of terrible dad jokes, they are all good fun.

I learn of one union but it involved an instructor, not a fellow Speedbreaker.

The group blames the lack of chemistry on logistics; normally they share one hotel but this year we are split into two, which has stopped people meeting. Some, of course, are just out of practice.

As one newly divorced father puts it: 'The last time I chatted someone up, Adam Ant was No.1.'

Bare essentials:

The picturesque village of Kaprun is one hour from Salzburg.

It sits at the foot of the Kitzsteinhorn Glacier, which provides the resort with year-round snow.

Your lift pass also covers the nearby resort of Zell am See, ten minutes by bus. Language: German Currency: £1= €1.05